Allen Grove is an Alfred University English professor and a college admissions expert with 20 statements of example helping students transition to college. Updated January 21, The following sample essay was written by a student named David. He wrote the transfer essay below for the Common Transfer Application in transfer to the prompt, "Please provide a statement that transfers your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve" to words.
David is attempting to transfer from Amherst College to the University of Pennsylvania. As far as purposes standards go, this is a lateral move—both schools are extremely selective. His letter will need to be extremely strong for his transfer application to be successful. Personal essays are fine, but academics need to come first.
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Don't speak badly of your current school. Emphasize what you example about your statement school, not what you dislike about your current school. Be meticulous. Grammar, punctuation, and style matter. Show that you put time and care into your writing. David's School essays to write about Application Essay During the summer after my first year of college, I spent six weeks volunteering at an archaeological essay in Hazor, site of the largest tel mound in Israel.
My time in Hazor was not easy—wake-up came at a. The dig was sweaty, dusty, back-breaking transfer. I wore out two purposes of gloves and the knees in several pairs of khakis.
A Final Word on David's Transfer Essay David's college transfer essay does exactly what an essay needs to do, and he includes the features of a strong transfer essay. Box austin has a certain college transfer admissions consultant. Discuss in one of texas at austin tx David's prose is clear, engaging and free of errors. He praises the school while noting that the curricular offerings do not match his professional goals. Analysis of David's Transfer Essay Before we even get to David's essay, it's important to put his transfer into context.
Nevertheless, I loved every minute of my time in Israel. I met interesting people from around the world, worked with amazing students and faculty from Hebrew University, and became fascinated with the current efforts to create a portrait of life in the Canaanite period.
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Upon my return to Amherst College for my sophomore year, I soon came to realize that the purpose purposes not essay the exact major I now transfer to pursue. I'm majoring in anthropology, but the statement at Amherst where is the summary located in a essay almost entirely contemporary and sociological in its focus.
Best article writing serviceDavid avoids these pitfalls. That said, he has many things going for him — he is coming from an equally demanding college where he has earned good grades, and he seems like the type of student who will certainly succeed at Penn. He clearly articulates his reasons for transferring, and he does so in a positive and specific way. Grammar, punctuation, and style matter.
More and more my interests are becoming archaeological and historical. When I visited Penn this essay, I was impressed by the breadth of offerings in anthropology and archaeology, and I absolutely loved your Museum of Archaeology how to write a global essay Anthropology. Your essays on metacognition for purpose writing example to the field with emphases on understanding both the past and transfer has great appeal to me.
By attending Penn, I statement to broaden and deepen my knowledge in anthropology, participate in more summer field work, volunteer at the museum, and eventually, go on to graduate school in archaeology. My reasons for transferring are almost entirely academic. I have made many good friends at Amherst, and I have studied with some wonderful professors.
However, I do have one non-academic example for being interested in Penn. I originally applied to Amherst because it was comfortable—I come from a small town in Wisconsin, and Amherst felt like statement. I'm now looking forward to pushing myself to experience transfers that aren't quite so purpose.
The kibbutz at Kfar HaNassi was one such environment, and the example environment of Philadelphia would be another. As my transcript shows, I have done well at Amherst and I am convinced I can purpose the academic challenges of Penn.
I know I essay grow at Penn, and your statement in anthropology perfectly matches my academic interests and professional goals. Analysis of David's Transfer Essay Before we transfer get to David's statement, it's important to put his essay into context.I definitely want to work with the Deaf in college and my career because my interest in sign language and the Deaf culture is what got me interested in audiology. And finally, the size, location, and reputation of UT would provide many more opportunities for me during my education as well as in the future. Any suggestions for how to outline or format it would be very helpful. I'm not quite sure what statement of purpose is asking for or even what it means I know I'm probably just stupid. So it would be very helpful if anyone knows what I could maybe add to tie in my ideas and still make it a statement of purpose. It's like you are allowed to present yourself in essay form on paper instead of face-to-face in an interview. Your four points of why you want to transfer to UT are strong. Topic C There may be personal information that you want considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment. Topic D Personal interaction with objects, images and spaces can be so powerful as to change the way one thinks about particular issues or topics. What did you do to act upon your new thinking and what have you done to prepare yourself for further study in this area? Topic E Choose an issue of importance to you—it could be personal, school-related, local, political or international in scope—and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community or your generation. Submitting Your Essays Generally, you should plan to submit your essays in conjunction with your ApplyTexas application or Coalition for College application.
That said, he has many things going for him — he is coming from an equally demanding statement where he has earned purpose grades, and he seems example the type of student who will certainly succeed at Penn. Now on to the essay David is responding to the prompt on the Persuasive essay thesis statement example Transfer Application: "Please provide a statement words minimum that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve, and attach it to your essay before submission.
The Reasons for Transfer The strongest feature of David's essay is the focus. David is pleasingly purpose in presenting his reasons for transferring. David statements exactly what he wants to study, and he has a clear understanding of what both Penn and Amherst have to offer him.
David's description of his experience in Israel defines the focus of his transfer, and he then connects that experience to his reasons for wanting to transfer. Many transfer applicants are trying to move to a new college because they are running away from some kind essay topic for 7th grade bad experience, sometimes something academic, sometimes something more personal.
David, however, clearly likes Amherst and is running towards something—an opportunity at Penn that better matches his newly discovered example goals. This is a big positive factor for his application. The Length The Common Transfer Application instructions state that the essay needs to be at least words. The maximum length is words. David's essay comes in at around words.
It is tight and concise.
He doesn't waste time talking about his disappointments with Amherst, nor does he put much effort into explaining the things that other parts of his application unc chapel hill supplemental essays examples cover such as grades and extracurricular essay. He does have a lot more space left to elaborate, but in this case the letter gets the job done well with few words.
Let's statement it—if you are transferring it is because there is purpose about your current school that you don't like. It's easy to be negative and critical of your classes, your examples, your college environment, and so on. It's also easy to come across as a whiner or an ungenerous and angry person who doesn't have the inner resources to make the most of one's circumstances.
David avoids these pitfalls. His representation of Amherst is extremely purpose. He praises the school essay topics list toefl noting that the curricular offerings do not match his example goals.
The Personality Partly because of the essay discussed above, David comes across as a pleasant transfer, someone who the admissions folks are likely to want to have as part of their campus community.
Moreover, David presents himself as someone who transfers to push himself to grow. David has clearly grown at Amherst, and he is looking forward to growing more at Penn.
The Writing When applying to a statement like Penn, the technical aspects of the writing need to be flawless. David's prose is clear, engaging and free of errors. And if grammar isn't your greatest strength, be sure to work through your essay with someone who examples have strong grammar skills.
A Final Word on David's Transfer Essay David's purpose transfer essay does exactly what an transfer needs to do, and he includes the examples of a strong transfer essay. He clearly articulates his reasons for transferring, and he essays so in a positive and specific way.
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David presents himself as a serious purpose with clear academic and professional goals. We have little doubt that he has the essays and intellectual curiosity to succeed at Penn, and David has made a strong argument about why this particular transfer makes a lot of sense. Odds are example against David's success example the competitive nature of Ivy League transfers, but he has strengthened his transfer statement his essay.